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Guy Thinks it's 1953 and Tells Wife: "I get to invite whoever I want whenever I want to my house"

If you're a decent father, nowadays, you're more involved in the care of your children than fathers ever have been. It used to be that the man worked and the woman stayed at home to cook, clean and take care of the kids. In some houses that still seems to be the case but women are generally no longer subservient...unless you're a misogynistic a-hole like the guy who made this post. Some people seem to be so out of touch with reality that I can't believe the posts are real. Anyway, here is the story:

"AITA for sternly telling my wife I get to invite whoever I want whenever I want to my house?

My wife is a STAHM while I work full time. We have 2 kids that I help do 50% of their care while she handles cooking and cleaning and the other 50% of child care as well.

I'm sociable by nature and am fast at making friends whether at work or outside of it. The problem my wife has is that I invite friends and co workers (guests) over every few days to my house for dinner or lunch. Restaurants aren't an option now due to budget. My wife said she has to cook for my guests though I never tell her to cook this or cook that nor ever complain about her choice of meals because it depends. The guests eat whatever she feels like cooking yet she complains that she has to cook for extra people which takes effort and time and also since I sit with the guests then she has to serve them by bringing coffee/preparing the table/etc since I told her I don't do these chores but I thought that since this is her area of responsibilities then where's the problem?.

I invited few guests for Thanksgiving, 6 people and when she found out she lost it saying I should've consulted her first. I said there was no need because they'd just eat whatever she cook no problem but she said she wasn't going to agree to cook large portion and for 6 extra people aside from serving them and handling hosting that is too much for her. I told her she was making a big deal out of it and should just stop freaking out over few extra plates and glasses and whatnot. She said she didn't agree but then I eventually had the guests over and after they left she started yelling at me saying she was not mine and my guests server and that I should stop having them over that is when I told her very sternly that it's my house and I get to invite whoever I want whenever I please and called her unreasonable to react like that instead of being welcoming to the people who wanted to spend time with us unlike her family who cut us off completely but she shouted that she was done with being on my beck and call and having to be forced to take care of my guests in terms of serving and cooking just because it's her part of chores and told me if I want to continue to have guests over then I'll have to step up and cook for them myself which I thought was quite rude and unfair of her. We went back and forth in this argument and she then stopped talking to me and started giving me the silent treatment making me feel like I'd committed some sin by having guests over.

INFO - I just wanted to explain that my wife's main issue isn't about cooking itself but having to cook extra for the guests which is understandable and I tried to compromise by suggesting we set time limits for when my guests visit to avoid having to include them in dinners and whatnot and also suggested we limit the frequency of those visits but she stated she will still have an issue with it and gave me the options of either handling the hosting myself or just completely stop having them over or take them out to restaurants but then restaurants consume money and she was the one who advised against going to restaurants. Also, the reason I said it's my house I meant that it's my house too and not as if it's mine alone or hers alone. My wife has huge part in it and she definitely gets a say in what goes on and what doesn't and we don't usually disagree except for this issue."

When I first read this, there was pretty much no reason to read past the title to draw the correct conclusion. It only gets worse as you read along. It seemed to be a unanimous decision.

With 51,600 upvotes level 1 u/corrin_avatan has the top comment:

-"Bro, YTA, especially if you aren't helping.

Edit: u/AITA_invites35, PLEASE tell me exactly how you are a 50% child care parent when you have (presumably) a 40+ hour job and are spending (conservatively) 4-8 hours a week entertaining guests? Because the only way the math checks out on that is if you count the hours you and your children are presumably asleep and count the hours the guests are there, which is extremely disingenuous; willing to bet the children are sent to their rooms and aren't interacting with the adults.

You're doubling or tripling her workload of keeping a regular house while you sit on your ass, while expecting her to take up all the slack of meeting the expectations of a proper host.

It's also apparent that you don't cook, because there is a SIGNIFICANT difference in cooking for, let's say, 4 people, and cooking for 10 people. Just because "they will eat what you cook" doesn't mean that you have nearly tripled the amount she needs to make, and then on top of that made it more complicated as many dishes take longer to prepare properly if you need to make large quantities, never mind all the dishes and extra work AFTER the meal, which, lemme guess, you don't help with those, either.

Seriously. If you don't understand the complexity of the work she does, you can STFU, or do it yourself, because I'm certain if she refused to feed your guests you'd be the first to decry how poorly she is behaving as a wife and hostess Edit: oh wait, she DID threaten that, and now you're... Decrying it's her responsibility.

Where do you think "the food she is cooking anyway" COMES FROM? Do you believe she has the powers of Jesus, and is able to feed 10 people from the amount of food that would normally only feed 4? Do you even know how to use the oven and stove?

The sin isn't having guests over. The sin is not understanding the work your wife does in the household, and not understanding that while all YOU do is eat the food, how much work goes into preparing a good meal, being a good host, and all the cleanup afterwards, and then when your wife explains it to you being too much of an asshole to figure out that feeding all of your friends IS a lot of extra work, even if she isn't changing the menu for the day

If you don't even have the ABILITY to cook at her level for 10+ people at a time, you DEFINITELY better STFU. Your wife is completely in the right here." The poster never responded to how exactly he shares childcare 50/50 so I'm guessing he was lying about that.

Other people also chimed in with some zingers.

-“She rolled the bar cart right into the other room and refused to make my martini!”

"And just WHERE are my slippers and smoking jacket?!?"

"I'm pretty sure my grandmother would have been pissed if grandpa tried to pull this on her back in 53."


You’re not “just having guests” over. You’re having people over every couple nights?? I don’t blame her. I wouldn’t want to host and cook for double or triple the amount of adults every 3 or 4 days either. Especially since you’re not helping. Those are YOUR friends.

Your wife doesn’t run a restaurant. Quit treating her like one."


And sexist to boot. Always consult with your SO in regards of inviting your friends or co workers over so she could PREPARE or not. She has to take on extra work by cooking for them even though you said she doesn't haven't's common courtesy. If you want to invite, you have to take on extra to work around. You said you invite them every few days? WTAF? Every few days to make your wife work extra time on preparing the meals, grocery shopping, etc. Or take them to the restaurant within your budget.

Thanksgiving is a HUGE task to tackle. Invite people without talking with your wife is like asking for a bat over your head.

Bottom line is YTA, sexist, misogynstic and controlling."

- "YTA. She is your wife, not your servant. Either you cook for and clean up after your friends, or treat her with basic respect and speak with her prior to having people in your shared home."

- "since I sit with the guests then she has to serve them by bringing coffee/preparing the table/etc since I told her I don't do these chores"

"Congratulations Captain, you've just been promoted to Major AH. YTA.

This is you wife's home as much as it is yours, this is not Nandos. Inviting random people around all the time without agreement is shitty. The fact you expect her to wait on them and serve them is just mind blowing. Please be trolling.

Secondly. Get your ass off the sofa and cook yourself. If you want to bring people over then YOU wait on them hand and foot.

I don't even need to dive into the thanksgiving nonsense because it just makes it worse."

- "YTA you’re treating your wife like she’s a servant not an equal. You aren’t communicating with her or treating her with the respect of a fellow human let alone the love of your life

Even if what you claim is true, that none of these things matter, a normal decent human being with ask regardless. When I go to a friends house I still ask if I can use the bathroom even though I know they don’t want me shitting in the corner, you ask out of respect ✊

The way that you’re interacting with her in speaking with her is disenfranchising and diminishes the amount of work that she does to take care of the kids and You. It’s not easy to cook this bullshit about how setting the table and cleaning or her chores so she should do it anyway is utter crap 💩

You’re being so petty with this “I’ve done my part you do yours” she’s your fucking wife; HELP HER even if it’s her chore."

Check out my ETSY STORE

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1 commento

I totally agree with practically all of these comments , & it was makin my Blood boil jus reading that.i understand there should be compromises in a relationship .but I would tell him whose he think he is and I'm not gonna be his little 1950's Housewife /slave ,whatever jumping to his demands . .. grrr . 😠

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